Synopsis: Sybil decides to take Caroline on a field trip to find a missing bell, while Stefan and Damon lure a doctor to her death for Cade.

I’m counting down the episodes until this show is over. 

Nothing happens this episode, it’s just setting us up for a big reveal three or four episodes down the line. Which is super irritating because we only have a few episodes left in the entire series, but whatever. I’m not Julie Plec; I’m just a humble blogger who dreads watching this show every week and spends the hour thinking of snarky things to say and scrolling through my phone.

So two stories are happening simultaneously this week. Damon and Stefan are culling souls for Cade, a job which Stefan is feeling really fulfilled by at the moment, so he doesn’t need your judgment. Damon, on the other hand, has gone all soft because he picked up Elena’s locket last episode and suddenly he decides that he’s more into metallurgical fashion than he is into that psychopath murderer aesthetic.

The two brothers Grimm find their way into a hospital to kill lookalike Rachel Bilson from Hart of Dixie. Wouldn’t it be cool if they did a crossover show? Thoughts in the comments.

Rachel Bilson is way too sweet to feed to of-course-they-chose-a-black-man-to-play-the-devil Cade (if there are any PLL fans out there, we can also discuss CeCe in the comments), so they go on Mission Corrupt Her Soul by convincing her that Damon is a drunk driver who killed her parents. That does the trick, and Rachel Bilson allows Damon to ‘die’ in the hospital, leaving Stefan with the twisted moral high ground of snapping her neck. 

Unfortunately for all involved, Stefan discovers Damon’s fixation with the locket, throws it out a window, and goes on a ripping bloodbath spree. That leaves Damon to chit chat with a Department of Corrections parolee on the side of the road while he’s picking up trash about good and evil and second chances while he’s searching for the locket (seriously, this show has gotten so heavy handed). He finds the locket and all is ripe for Elena’s return if Dobrev makes the commitment.

In the meantime, Sybil is teaching high school at Mystic Falls. She lures Caroline to her classroom and takes her class on a field trip where she Siren-compels them to strap themselves to pyres and threatens to set them ablaze.

Turns out Sybil won’t torch the children if Caroline finds a magical bell that Matt’s family made. The bell seems to be the ultimate weapon against the Sirens and Cade, and is oh-so-conveniently lost, because Matt’s father had a hissy fit about his family’s place in town history and threw it into the river. Also conveniently, the bell is indestructible, so it’s great but also unconvincing that Matt’s ancestors had foresight given how mind-numbingly thick Matt and daddy-Matt are.

Caroline doesn’t find the bell because Sybil’s sister took it, but Matt frees the children, which saves the town a lot of money to rebrand all their merchandise to say “Salem” or “Waco” instead of “Mystic Falls.”  

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