Seriously. This is a legitimate question.

So if you have been around with Nerdophiles long enough, you know that I am a pretty big fan of the show The Vampire Diaries and I recapped every episode last season. So why, have I not been recapping this season? Well coupled with laziness and forgetfulness is also the reality that I feel like the show has gone off the deep end.

Is it salvageable? Yes, definitely. The season is picking up with it’s usual tomfoolery and I’m actually enjoying the episodes I’m watching, but the show was very close to losing me as a viewer. So, let’s go over what has even happened in this show, shall we? This is obviously going to be spoiler filled, but I thought we should just get together what we know has happened so far in the show.

The easiest way we can do this, is by character. The plot lines are so tangled that the only way we know what is happening is if we assess individually. I considered doing a recap episode by episode, but to be honest, I marathoned the last six episodes in one night, and I feel like I need to rehash what is going on.

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Elena Gilbert
Status: Undead

She is going to Whitmore College now, though she’s still missing just as much school as she was in high school. Is she withdrawing… or is she just using up all her absences?

Her roommate knew her adoptive father (unfortunately not David Anders), and was suddenly killed by the Augustine vampire.

She’s feeling some major guilt over spending her summer honeymooning with Damon instead of sparing a thought for where Bonnie really is, or where Stefan really is.

She finds, yet, another doppelganger.

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Damon Salvatore
Status: Undead

He has to basically babysit Jeremy while Elena is away.

He also has to babysit Katherine, since she’s human now and being sought after by Silas. Well he had to, now that Silas has what he wants Katherine is kind of a free agent.

He’s literally being cockblocked by destiny, though it doesn’t seem to stop him from being Good Guy Damon and constantly defending his brother and his girlfriend.

We have yet to see a Damon!Doppelganger, but if we find out that Henry VIII was a Damon, I wouldn’t be shocked. He rocked that costume, amirite?

He’s way more compassionate than we thought. Which we established a long time ago, but when he hugs Jeremy after he confesses that Bonnie has been dead, I was basically crying in my bed.

Au contraire, mon frere. (source: misskathgifs@tumblr)

Stefan Salvatore
Status: Undead, was perpetually being drowned, now… not so much.

He lost his memory. Yes, they pulled the ole’ amnesia card.

Though, amensia Stefan is much more interesting than self-righteous Stefan. Not to mention that his amnesia self has basically left the whole Damon/Elena thing behind, and the only person he really trusts is Caroline. Although he did put himself into a pickle with Qetsiyah to save Elena…

He kind of unwittingly becomes prey to Qetsiyah’s obsession, and then almost dies like six times in order to break his bond with Silas. Oh then he stabs Qetsiyah in the back, literally, and ends up on her bad side.

He’s got all of his memories back now, well all of the horrible ones. Does this mean we basically get the ripper? I’m not even sure what is going on with his story line, but I just want to see more of his friendship with Caroline. Seriously, that was like the most well developed friendship in this damn show.

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Jeremy Gilbert
Status: Alive, again.

Apparently everyone buys the story of him faking his death and burning his house down like it’s some casual thing. I’m going to assume that they used some kind of compelling, or else everyone is just too gullible.

He’s had to deal with his dead girlfriend being by his side the whole time, and hiding her secret that she’s dead. He’s also been committing identity fraud.

He’s still got all of his hunter powers, which for some reason I assumed he lost.

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Bonnie Bennett
Status: Dead, but haunting her boyfriend

Haunting might be a heavy word, now that I think about it. But she’s just been by Jeremy’s side, as well as everyone elses. Seeing as she was once my least favorite character, she’s been the most level headed of everyone this season. Probably because she’s dead.

Her memorial was actually the most depressing episode of the season so far.

Despite the memorial seeming like it was her exit, she’s stayed by Jeremy and has been giving him advice. Though against her wishes, he convinced Damon to do the Bonnie/Silas switcheroo, hoping that in killing Silas she could come back to life. That didn’t work.

She also had the really unfortunate moment of seeing her father killed before her eyes by Silas. Also a pretty heart wrenching scene.

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Matt Donovan
Status: Alive, and still human! (Well… that ring may be turning him into something else)

He’s all hot and heavy with Rebekah. That’s what I’m talking about. I’m hoping he’ll just realize the absurdity of Mystic Falls and high tail it to New Orleans to shack up with Bekah.

He’s got his ring, so when he dies, he gets to see Bonnie again. It’s a beautiful moment between the two, but he comes back to life with no memory of it. We do get to learn about the Gilbert Ring though!

He’s been possessed by a Traveler (aka gypsy) named Gregor, who is allies with Nadia, so he periodically blacks out and does his bidding. No big deal or anything.

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Caroline Forbes
Status: Undead

She spends most of this season freaking out about Tyler, and unable to come to grips with the fact that they are basically broken up.

She befriends a guy named Jesse, who ultimately becomes a vampire, unbeknownst to her.

However, she’s got some great scenes with both Katherine and Stefan. She gets to reform her friendship with Stefan, and with Katherine, she gets to team up and question the new professor, which is hilarious given how much of a bitch Katherine was to her when she was first turned. Aww, look how they’ve grown.

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Katherine Pierce
Status: …Alive? I don’t really know if she’s actually alive or what is happening. She’s just not a vampire anymore.

Easily the best character of the season, human Katherine is so sassy and yet completely unthreatening. She’s got hilarious moments like stuffing her face or suffering from being a human, and then she’s got emotional moments like meeting her daughter, Nadia, for the first time.

She escapes death, again! After being drained by Silas, she doesn’t seem to have been able to die and instead jumps back up to life.

She’s aging? I’m not sure if this is some kind of Dorian Grey business, but her hair is greying and her teeth are coming out. On the plus side, she was able to impersonate Elena and convince the Augustines that Elena is “human”.

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Status: … Alive? Again, not really sure…

So, I guess he’s actually alive again. He drained Katherine and now has his powers back. He was smart enough to figure out that Amara is also alive, but not smart enough to keep track of her.

He’s still kind of a douche, but ultimately his goals tend to line up with the gang’s.

I’m not even sure how I feel about Silas’s new self. Seeing him in Stefan’s body is throwing me off, since Paul Wesley sadly does not portray Silas and Stefan differently enough for me to even tell the difference between them at some points. To me, he’s just another iteration of Stefan. Though that could be because we’ve already seen the other side of Stefan as the Ripper.

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Status: Alive/Human, now.

So she’s definitely human now, and ready to die.

She’s basically been locked away for 2000 years, suffering like Silas was when he initially was entombed.

Sadly she’s been kidnapped by Damon, and is being traumatized even further.

Snaps to Nina Dobrev’s acting skills.

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Status: Immortal

Qetsiyah has basically been alluded to throughout the series. There have been a bunch of people, including the Mikaelsons, who said that they were the original vampires, but actually it’s basically been Qetsiyah’s doing. She created the Immortality Spell, she created The Other Side and The Veil, she also created The Cure. She’s innovating all kinds of shit around here.

However, she’s also super unbalanced and a lesson in not messing with a woman scorned. Or also a lesson in not scorning a woman.

She’s pretty much got it out for Amara and Silas, not that I really blame her.

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Wes Maxfield
Status: Human, and alive, for now. Though with all of that blood gone, you’d think he’d be dead.

He’s some kind of groupie of Grayson Gilbert’s, which means he’s inevitably interlinked with all of the characters of the show.

I can’t really tell if he’s going to be a pseudo new Alaric like character, or if he’s just going to be dead by the end of the season.

He’s related to the society Augustine, which is yet another supernatural group that we are introduced to that are opposed to vampires, though they seem to have a vampire of their own. Maybe it’s a Damon doppelganger (well, I can hope).

He killed Jesse in order to bring him back as a vampire and study him, so clearly he’s got some issues.

But then again, he was also drained entirely of blood by Caroline and Katherine and then compelled to forget it. That’s going to come back and bite them in the ass.

So what you can obviously tell is that I have a pretty weak understanding of what is going on, after digesting nearly seven hours of The Vampire Diaries, but with the revival of Amara, we’re getting a lot more to go off of. Why does Amara seem to recognize Damon? Who is the Augustine Vampire? What are the Travellers and what are they doing? What the hell is happening at school with Megan’s death? Can we get some more Katherine and Nadia moments?

My guess is that even if my questions are answered, I’ll only be further confused by more questions by the end of the season.

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