Synopsis: Good luck following this one. In the aftermath of last season’s Theo-offensive, Lydia gets committed to a psychiatric hospital and the boys try to save Stiles’ father. Other than that, your guess is as good as mine as to what happened.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Let’s start the second half of this series with a warning.

Abandon all hope of ever catching a narrative thread this episode.

I ended last season feeling like I missed some sort of vital connection between Theo trying to murder Scott and Lydia going insane.

I’m guessing from this episode that it’s some sort of poorly-executed flashback/flashforward sequence. But if that’s what’s happening, it’s a complete mystery to me how all these pieces fit together – which is extra ridiculous because I literally take notes on each episode so I can write these recaps.

This entire episode is like a winded stream-of-consciousness, unreliable narrative mess tripping on hardcore psychedelic drugs.

With that warning out of the way, here are all the bits of story I managed to pick out of the garbage heap that was this episode.

Apparently Lyds has been committed to Eichenhouse (news to me??) and creepy-third-eye patient drilled into her skull to amp up her banshee-harbinger powers.

From his mind-probing, we learn that Theo became the first chimera by murdering his sister and stealing her heart.

Flashing back (??), Parrish has a sexy shower scene vision featuring Lydia. The fantasy turns dark when shower Lydia starts decomposing and he needs industrial-strength Drain-o (sulfuric acid?) to wash her flesh chunks down the drain.

From this, he apparently realizes that Lyds is in trouble. The gang find her wandering around the woods in a catatonic state, apparently inflicted by Theo (??). She’s carved a sheriff’s badge into a tree trunk using her fingernails, which is another warning for an event that’s already happened (the attack on the sheriff).

Anyway, then there’s this business with Hayden possibly being alive but also dead but also revived by Theo to be his weird chimera Jaguar/berserker bloodtwin. Whatever.  Main point is she’s alive; she turns Liam in to the cops for the murders of the other chimeras; she helps Theo track the latest chimera, Noah.

[Teen Wolf wikia]
[Teen Wolf wikia]
As previously mentioned, the Sheriff was attacked by a chimera last season. He’s in the hospital, but he’s not recovering. Turns out he’s being poisoned by the chimera Noah. Scott and Stiles track down Noah and figure out how to cure the Sheriff.

Just when Malia, Stiles, and Scott manage to find Noah, they also run into the Dread Doctors. The team start to flee, only to be saved by Daddy Argent and his Large Guns. Daddy Argent allows the team to escape, but Noah later dies from the failed Doctors’ experiment.

At the end of the episode, we see Lydia getting committed (so… flash-sideways??) before Parrish vows to free her. Theo and his gang of ragtag rascals break into Eichenhouse and steal Lydia to lure Parrish to their side. Turns out our boy Parrish is a hellhound. Hells yeah.

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