Summary of 1×07-08: The appearance of Richard’s brother Kingsley puts everyone in a tizzy. Isabella’s cousin/fiancee Harry comes to the rescue as her and Galavant finally admit their feelings for one another. It ends with the worst cliffhanger ever.

Rating: ?????

WHAT?! That’s how the story ends?

Okay, let’s go back to the beginning.

The episode opens with a flashback to Galavant’s childhood as his father arrives home. Galavant is upset because some kids from the village hurt his feelings, but his father tells him that a hero doesn’t show his feelings and that he can’t have his mind clouded when his moment comes. Really got to love that toxic masculinity, but god, Anthony Stewart Head is Gal’s dad and how can I not love him just a little bit? It’s been too long since I’ve heard him sing.

Back in the now, Galavant is ready for his moment to take on Richard. However, his plans appear to be cut short when Isabella’s parents reveal that they’ve contacted her cousin Harry for rescue and Gareth drags them all upstairs to meet Kingsley. Madalena’s introductions of them are rather hilarious, if I’m being completely honest.

Her Evil Queen aesthetic is so on point though. [ABC]
Her Evil Queen aesthetic is so on point though. [ABC]
Tired of Kingsley’s abuse, Richard challenges him to a duel to the death. However, like any good king, Richard declares that they will pick their champions. Before he can pick Gareth, Kingsley does, leaving him without a champion. Grabbing a sword from one of the guards, Galavant volunteers as tribute. Before he can finish singing about how it’s moment, Kingsley drugs him and knocks him out.

Naturally, no one is happy about the duel. Isabella doesn’t want to lose Galavant, Richard is in  a no-win situation because he either loses his kingdom or his best friend, and Gwynne the Handmaiden laments the fact she probably be dead by morning, so Chef Vincenzo (who gets named in the SEASON FINALE) shouldn’t even try getting with her. Before the duel can actually begin, a “pointy hatted army” comes riding up to the circle, lead by a young boy who can’t be more than 10.

Yeah… guess who Isabella’s cousin/betrithed is? Yep, little Harry. Naturally, Galavant doesn’t take it well, but Richard uses this opportunity to delay the duel by having dinner for visiting dignitaries. The match disbands, but down in the dungeon, everyone thinks Galavant is dead. With the help of the jester and some misdirection, everyone escapes into the castle.

Before the meal starts, Gwynne comes to the Chef with a proposal: if these new royals are going to kill them, they might as well get a head start. This leads into a joyous little number about poison that reminds me of a mashup of ‘A Little Priest’ from Sweeney Todd and ‘Poisoning Pigeons in the Park’ by Tom Lehrer. However, Vincenzo chickens out at the last minute and just goes with what the royals are allergic to. Because they may die, but they’ll at least get to watch blue bloods be super uncomfortable before they do. Gwynne doesn’t stay mad because it reminds her that there is some good in the world. They kiss and exchange…compliments. If someone told me my breath reminded them of when they found their uncle’s body in a well, I wouldn’t be flattered. Then again, I’m not a 13th century peasant.

Madalena calls out Galavant’s dad crap from beyond the grave and it makes Gal think there is some good in her for two seconds. However, she immediately ruins it by threatening to beat someone to death with a danish if she eats it. When it appears that Galavant has his moment to kill the king, he advances, but bypasses his guards to stop Isabella from eating crab. He apologizes for being a dolt and that speaking to Isabella is one of his favorite things. Harry leaves, calling her a weirdo for wanting to marry outside the family tree. Okay, Targaryens.

Having quite enough of his brother, Richard challenges him to a duel to the death fighting without champion. However, Kingsley isn’t quite that type, keeping Gareth as his champion. Yipe.

With everyone back in the dungeon, it seems like a perfect opportunity for Galavant to… y’know… “kiss the girl” (seriously, they even play a little bit of Alan Menken’s famous tune right here). However, he hesitates since he knows that kiss with Isabella is going to be the forever kind of kiss. He does come up with a new plan to have an audience with Richard the night before he dies. After Gareth leaves, the two end up drinking and Richard admits that not only did he never get with Madalena (because kidnapping a woman and making her his wife, but letting her choose if she wants to have sex with him makes him a modern 13th century man), but he’s never been with anyone. 

But yay bonding! [ABC]
But yay bonding! [ABC]
As the two keep drinking, they decide that they’re going to expedite the process and kill Kingsley while he sleeps. This leads to what is probably my favorite number of the entire series as the two sing about going on a secret mission to kill the king, trolling the consort interviewees by telling them to ask about Madalena’s gross feet, and Galavant drunkenly confessing his feelings for Isabella. They finally make it to Kingsley’s room, but the two are caught and sent back to the dungeon. Gareth laments that Richard never listened to him about being a man and now he’s going to have to kill him. Richard asks him if he wants to sing the song their nanny Pearl used to sing to them one more time, but he refuses. Richard sings it to himself and it immediately breaks my heart.

Feeling guilt, Gareth comes to retrieve Richard and Galavant in the morning. Galavant refuses to leave without his friends, but Gareth says he just needs them. Before he leaves, he apologizes to Isabella and the two finally kiss. Before he can admit that he’s falling in love with her, Gareth knocks him out and drags him out of the dungeon.

On the shores of Valencia, Gareth brings the duo to pirates who will take Richard and Galavant back to their homeland. Richard can’t get Gareth to admit that he loves him, but Gareth and Galavant make promises to each other to look after Richard and Isabella. Of course, I bet Gareth wasn’t expecting to uphold that promise so soon when he lets everyone escape after Kingsley orders their deaths. However, he does keep Sid as collateral. Kingsley isn’t happy about it, but he doesn’t get a chance to punish Gareth before Madalena literally stabs him in the back and appoints Gareth as king. Jesus, woman. I didn’t think you had it in you.

The remaining of Galavant’s gang escapes to Prince Harry’s palace in Hortensia, where he takes them in, but then locks Isabella in a giant creepy dollhouse.

Seriously. So creepy. [ABC]
Seriously. So creepy. [ABC]
…And that’s how the season ends. This was suppose to be a fun month-long thing, not cliffhanger central! Now I badly want a second season to see if Richard and Galavant come back to save everyone. ABC hasn’t said whether or not season two is out happening, so we’ll just have sit sit in anguish a little longer.

I guess that’s the good mark of a season finale, but I will be madder than when Pushing Daisies season one ended if it ends there. Please, for the love of Gal, ABC. Renew this show.

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