Welcome back to the Steven Universe Episode Collection! As I said in my previous collection, this is the first time I’m seeing these particular set of episodes. And what a good batch! Looks like we’re starting to dig deep into the universe of… Steven Universe. *sigh*  Let’s move on.

Joking Victim (1×21)

Summary: Steven begins to work at the Big Donut, finding out more about Lars and Sadie in the meantime.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Man, this episode really makes me want to give Sadie a hug and tell her that she could do WAY better.

After Amethyst douses Steven’s fries with a spice called Fire Salt, he ends up making a mess at the Big Donut to cool his mouth off. Sadie asks Lars to clean it up since she cleaned up “the last 5 Stevens,” but he begins to fake a back injury and asks her to do it. Sadie falls for it, but Steven stays behind to help her out and offers to replace Lars for the day. After being briefed on the break room (including a morbidly hilarious joke as to why the donuts aren’t made on site) and being given a training video starring Mr. Smiley, Steven gets to work and actually enjoys himself. He offers to Sadie that they just fire Lars, but she insists that he’s actually a good person, telling this story of when he let her be his player 2 for a video game after she waited in line for it for him. Oh dear Sadie, no…

Steven decides that the two should do something nice for Lars by delivering him get well donuts. However, when they arrive, they spot Lars in the backyard on a trampoline with Jenny Pizza, Sour Cream and Buck Dewey. Sadie gets upset and wishes she had someway to burn Lars.

Yeah, I bet you can see where this is going.

YOU'RE NOT HELPING. [dumbpolice.tumblr.com]
YOU’RE NOT HELPING. [dumbpolice.tumblr.com]
Steven brings the Fire Salt to work the next day for Sadie to use on Lars. She’s hesitant, but after Lars comes in to get out of work again, she douses a donut in it and offers it up to Lars. This leads to Lars breathing fire around town and the weirdest chase involving a fire extinguisher I have ever seen. It even involves a giant bowl of ice cream.

Steven tries to get Amethyst’s help, but she just laughs at how “hilarious” the joke is. Lars overhears this and begins to chase Steven, but Sadie arrives and admits to what she did, tearfully telling Lars that he broke her trust. Steven thinks quickly during this interaction and performs the Heimlich maneuver on Lars to get him to cough up the Flaming Donut. I don’t know how Steven thought that would work, but okay.

Rightfully, Sadie refuses to apologize for what she did, but Lars does offer to help her out for once. She quickly takes him back, but I don’t know why. Girl, move on. He’s less help than Amethyst.

Steven and the Stevens (1×22)

Summary: Steven uses the power of time travel to form a band of Stevens for Beach-a-Palooza. Yes, really.

Rating: ★★★★★

Oh my god, this might be one of the funniest episodes of Steven Universe I have ever seen.

In a throwback to the original pilot, Steven ends up claiming a tiny hourglass for himself on a mission where the team is looking for The Glass of Time. Which nearly comes at the price of his life when Amethyst grabs a weird looking hourglass, causing the sea shrine to collapse. Still, thanks to Garnet’s quick actions, Steven is safe and ready to celebrate Beach-a-Palooza by rocking out with his dad on stage.

There’s a slight kink in those plans though: Greg has a boat stuck in his carwash and can’t make it out. Steven makes a wish that he could go back in time and warn his dad, which causes him to go back in time and stop Greg from having the boat back into his business all because of the Glass of Time being in his pocket. Oh Pearl, it’s so obvious that you don’t watch movies. It’s always the one you least suspect.

When that causes things to go much worse though, Steven makes a wish that he could go back in time and warn himself. Which causes him to double himself…

No one tries to rename themselves Tyrone, just FYI. [The Steven Universe Wikia]
No one tries to rename themselves Tyrone, just FYI. [The Steven Universe Wikia]
Yeah, if you’ve seen the Gravity Falls episode ‘Double Dipper,’ you basically know the gist of what happens. Steven uses the past versions of himself to create a band for Beach-a-Palooza, but his micromanaging of their image causes a rift between the band, shenanigans to ensue, and a clone fight much bigger than Dipper Pines could have imagined. However, when the original Steven realizes what trouble he’s caused, he decides to destroy the Glass of Time once and for all, which kills all of the time clones but the one they encountered in the past. Steven then forms a band with the Crystal Gems and writes a cheery song about accidentally creating an alternate timeline and watching himself die. Oh my god, how did they get that past Standards and Practices?

Oh like I care. It was glorious.

Monster Buddies (1×23)

Summary: After an accident in the Temple, Steven ends up befriending a Centipeedle.

Rating: ★★★★☆

For as reckless and silly as Steven can be, it’s also important to remember that he’s compassionate too.

While on a dangerous mission to retrieve an elemental called the Shooting Star, Garnet ends up having to bubble Steven like a gem in order to get him back to the Temple. The process works and Steven frees himself, but accidentally frees the Centipeedle from “Gem Glow” in the process. Steven expects to be attacked, but the Centipeedle ends up shrinking to the size of a small dog. Steven notices that it looks more scared than vicious and tries to make contact with it to calm it down. It nearly works, but he’s interrupted by the Gems returning and threatening to kill it. Steven makes an appeal to Garnet that the Centipeedle is scared and that it’s not a threat to anyone. Garnet agrees to let Steven train it, saying that she can’t say no to that face.

Of course, Pearl’s solution to having Steven tame the Centipeedle is tie it to a rock. The Gems and Lion prepare for a fight, but Steven asks them to go back into the house so he can be one on one with it. That seems to work, especially when Steven introduces chips into the equation as a reward system. When that causes Steven to get attacked by a sea gull, the Centipeedle saves him by spitting acid at the gull. This new trick doesn’t impress Pearl, but it gives Garnet an idea of how they can get to the Shooting Star.

Taking the Centipeedle on the mission does seem to work. Steven caws. Peedle spits. Steven throws chips at Peedle. Rinse. Repeat. The Gems eventually find the Shooting Star, but the Centipeedle has a freakout when Garnet takes out her gauntlets. He spits acid again, causing damage to the cave and Pearl going on about how she was right. The Gems begin to attack the Centipeedle, despite Steven crying out that it was an accident. He goes up to the Centipeedle crying, trying to make it remember when it protected Steven. As he hugs it, the Centipeedle begins to calm down in response to Steven.

NOOO MY HEART. [ninjashow.tumblr.com]
NOOO MY HEART. [ninjashow.tumblr.com]
Right then, a stalactite falls from the ceiling. The Centipeedle knocks Steven out of the way, sacrificing itself for him and reverting back to its Gem. Steven is upset that he couldn’t do more, but Garnet assures him that Rose Quartz would be proud since she constantly tried to heal the creatures that the Gems would fight. She even believes that Steven might succeed where Rose didn’t. Steven assures the Centipeedle that he’ll heal him one day… Right before successfully bubbling a gem for the first time! Way to go Steven! Look how you’re progressing! We’re so proud!

An Indirect Kiss (1×24)

Summary: Steven shares a story with Connie about trying to discover what powers he may or may not have.

Rating: ★★★★☆

First bubbling, now this? We’re learning all sorts of things about Steven recently.

The story of this episode is shared over a durian juicebox, like all good stories should be. Steven meets Connie up on the hill of the Temple for a picnic, feeling rather down on himself for some reason. Connie asks what’s wrong, and Steven agrees to tell her if he can wear her glasses. She agrees, but only if she can finish off his juicebox, which is mostly backwash. Pay attention, that’s important later.

Steven tells Connie about a recent incident with Amethyst where she was messing around on the top of the temple and fell off the side of the cliff. Her body is relatively fine from the fall, but her gem ends up cracking. Pearl freaks out over this since a cracked gem is a lot harder to recover from than any other injury they might get. Garnet tells Steven that they used to turn to Rose Quartz in times like these since her tears had healing properties. Steven may have those powers too. Steven tries to cry to see, but he fails.

The next best option for the Gems to improve Amethyst’s worsening condition is to take her to Rose’s healing spring, which has become overgrown with brambles. As Garnet and Pearl try to clear the garden, Steven keeps trying to cry with no luck. When he tries to poke himself with thorns to cry, the thorns come to life and attack him. Amethyst knocks him out of the way, cracking her gem further.

Such shojo. Very rose. Wow. [The Steven Universe Wikia]
Such shojo. Very rose. Wow. [The Steven Universe Wikia]
Eventually, the Gems do find the healing spring, but find that it’s no longer running. Garnet and Pearl go off to investigate, leaving Steven to watch Amethyst. Looking up at the statue of his mother, Steven laments that he doesn’t feel sad the way the rest of the Gems do about her since he didn’t know her. Before he can cry about it, they’re attacked again by thorns, causing Steven to retreat into the spring with Amethyst. He apologizes to Amethyst about not being able to save her and finally ends up crying…

…which doesn’t work. Steven thinks it does for a second when the fountain starts again after he cries, but it turns out that Garnet and Pearl just unclogged a chamber. Pearl tells Steven that he has no magical powers whatsoever and that they don’t want anything to do with him. Well, in Steven’s head, that’s what it sounds like. Been there, buddy.

Connie assures Steven that she’ll want to hang out with him, whether he’s magic or not. The two lean in for a kiss, but Connie complains about a headache. Steven asks her what’s wrong, and Connie realizes it’s something with her eyes. She takes her glasses off, realizing that she can now see clearly without them. Steven realizes from this that he does have healing powers, but not in his tears. It’s in his spit, which Connie had been drinking more than 30 seconds prior. Connie freaks out over how she’s going to tell her parents and her optometrist that she can MIRACULOUSLY SEE 20/20 NOW, but  Steven is ecstatic and runs off to tell the Gems. I don’t blame him, because again, HEALING SPIT.

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