Gravity Falls: The Golf War (2×03)

Synopsis: Mabel and Pacifica’s rivalry comes to a head as they compete at mini-golf. This leads to the twins discovering tiny golf ball people that live in the local putt putt course.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Do you ever have a moment while you’re watching a cartoon of some sort and you have to say “Oh my GOD, they show this to children?”

I had a lot of those during “The Golf War.” This episode got weird. In a good and hilarious way, but still weird.

Probably yeah. []
Probably yeah. []
After Mabel is showed up by Pacifica Northwest again, the Pines family decides to go to the local putt putt golf course and have a day just to let Mabel pick herself up because she is REALLY good at mini-golf. However, Mabel’s day in the sun is short lived both figuratively and literally since a storm comes in after Pacifica beats her high score. Of course, Pacifica won’t let this rivalry lie and challenges Mabel to a mini-golf off at midnight. Which enthuses Stan because how often does he get to break into a mini-golf course? And to wish Mabel luck, he gives her a sticker of a trophy. Awwww… The old shyster has a heart.

This is officially where the episode gets strange. Dipper and Mabel find the Lilliputtians, a group of small golf ball people living in all the holes in the golf course. Each hole has a different them and they all hate each other with a burning passion. Mabel even refers to it as a “blood feud.” They’re also played by fairly well know people? Patton Oswalt plays Franz, the first Lilliputtian we meet, but there are also voices by Matt Chapman, Jim Cummings and John O’Hurley. Nathan Fillion also plays Pacifica’s dad because WHAT? The surprise doesn’t last long though because you find out that Pacifica’s parents are kind of awful.

That moment of awful parents follows shortly after a shirtless Soos flirting with Stan. Again… WHAT?

YUP. []
YUP. []
The Lilliputtians notice Mabel’s sticker and implore her to give it to the Lilliputtians she thinks are the best. Dipper convinces her to use them in order to cheat at the game and beat Pacifica. Mabel feels bad, but says yes after Dipper tells her that Pacifica cheats at life due to being rich.

What commences is a series of creative ways the Lilliputtians screw over Pacifica and help Mabel, all culminating in the story of Big Henry. I just… I can’t even properly describe what happened with Big Henry. I was wheezing from laughter too much.

Of course, the Swiss Lilliputtians decide the best way to win Mabel over is to just straight up kill Pacifica. They even say the word “kill.” WHAT? Mabel tries to convince them not to and in that moment realizes that maybe having a rivalry with Pacifica isn’t the best way to go. The Lilliputtians take her advice, but in the kind of way that interprets them killing Mabel. Being the badass that she is, Mabel manages to rescue Pacifica and works together with her and Dipper to escape the park.

The sweetest moment in all of this though is that Pacifica learns what sharing is for the first time after Mabel apologizes to her and offers her a ride home. Maybe there’s hope for the girl yet…

This episode was weird and ridiculous, but in all the best ways. Maybe not a big plot episode, but I can never discount something that makes me laugh so hard I can’t breathe.

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