Once Upon A Time once again attempts to tug on our heart strings and then crush all of our hopes and dreams. We should be used to this but we keep trying to hold out for something more.
Which is apparently what David is trying to do, too. All David wants is to fight evil and go home to reclaim the the whole fairy tale land that they left behind. Meanwhile Mary Margaret has been pretty much entirely opposed to that idea. Their family is here on Earth, Emma is on Earth, Henry is on Earth, it’s safer on Earth… she has all these reasons/excuses. But basically bad shit kept happening to her as a child back there and I guess I can understand that. Her mom died. Her dad died. Her step-mother kept trying to kill her. Her step-grandmother killed her mother (yup, we found that out this episode, too.)
Basically, David ought to stop with the hints that it’s time to go back and give her some time to warm up to the idea. Like, a lot of time. Like… wait until it’s actually possible.
Anyway. Someone leaves a present for Snow because SURPRISE! It’s her birthday. But she hates her birthday because her mom died on her birthday so she’s all depressed. Except it turns out that the present is the same tiara she got from her mother for her birthday that year that she died and her old nurse maid found it and left it for her without a word. We learn all of this through a heart wrenching series of flashbacks with young Snow and her mother. They are just so damn happy and Snow’s mother is basically like the best person in the world and the reason Snow White is a decent person and all sunshine and happiness. But then she gets sick and dies.
Snow immediately goes to find her and it’s Missus Padmore from Downton Abbey! Already I love her. Though, actually, at first I thought maybe she was Cora trying to coax Snow into something. But then she goes into the woods, sees Regina and Cora trying to dig up Rumplestilskein’s knife, and then I realized that my theory was wrong.
Does anyone else just come up with random theories with this show? Just for the sake of it? I never trust anything that goes on. The show has made me paranoid.
Snow goes to try and tell David whose unconscious because Hook knocked him out to steal back his, you know, hook. They realize what’s going on and try to call Emma and Rumple to warn them. Except they are too busy following Neal and Henry around as they realize they are both BFFs and love pizza and have everything in common. Seriously, they are like so happy. It’s adorable. Emma is even smiling and happy for them all the while Rumple is angry and pouty and knows that Henry will be the end of him.
They go back to Neal’s apartment and Hook is there. He shanks Rumple with some poison on his hook and Emma knocks Hook out and locks him in the basement. She’s making a habit of leaving him places. They take Rumple upstairs to patch him up where he manhandles Henry when the kid gets near him and everyone decides they need to go to Storybrooke to fix Rumple. By now Emma has gotten in touch with her parents, they are looking for the knife in Storybrooke, and we learn that some how Hook can sail a pirate ship to NYC. I mean, I guess we shouldn’t second guess that. It is Captain Hook.
We also learn something about Neal. Namely that he too can sail a pirate ship. Because apparently Earth is not the first world he’s been to and he’s actually been to quite a few and is a couple hundred years old or something because MAGIC and INTER-DIMENSIONAL TRAVEL. Or, you know, he landed on Neverland at some point and is actually Peter Pan or something. Which is probably going to happen because he still needs an actual fairytale/Disney alter ego.
Neal takes Emma to get a car to drive to the harbor and we find out that he doesn’t have a car. He’s borrowing a car. Not stealing one like Emma thinks. Borrowing it. From his fiance. Yeah. Neal really does have a life here and he’s quite happy with it.
I guess we hope/assume they get on the boat because we never see it happen.
Instead we go back to David and Mary Margaret who find the knife hidden in the hands of the clock tower. Which, all things considered is actually kind of clever. But Cora and Regina see what they did and bring Missus Padmore along as collateral to convince Snow to give up the knife. She couldn’t use dark magic to bring her mom back, she kept giving Regina all those second chances… well, Snow gives up the knife and they still kill Missus Padmore. Who didn’t see that coming?
Apparently, though, this was the end of it. Snow White is done with all this shit and she has since decided it’s time to KILL CORA.
So, not Regin.
But Snow White is on the war path so. Hey. That could be interesting.
Except probably not because c’mon. Disney won’t ever let Snow White kill someone. Still. We can all hope.