Release Date: August 2, 2019
Cast: The Rock, Jason Statham, Vanessa Kirby, Idris Elba
Director: David Leitch
Studio: Seven Bucks Productions, Chris Morgan Productions, Huaxia Film Distribution
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Spoilers: Medium
IMDBRotten Tomatoes Wikipedia

This movie really makes you appreciate what the Fast and Furious movies do with comparatively so little. Despite the absurdity of their antics, the mainline FF movies are so strangely earnest it’s endearing. 

This is not that.

Hobbs and Shaw is so manufactured, it’s offensive.

Firstly, it didn’t need to be a part of the FF universe in the slightest. It doesn’t rely on that backstory for anything substantial. It’s because it would earn them the most bucks. It’s the rocket fuel to get them on their way to a billion dollars. Along the way they’ll throw non-stop one liners, bring in cameos for actors to do their thing (certainly nothing as substantial as play a character), a transformer motorcycle, and of course a couple of end credit stingers for good measure.

In a move that might seem Fast and Furioush, the third act takes us to the Rock’s “family” in Samoa. That we are expected to care about them at all is a farce when we know who the real Fast and Furious family are.

It tells, not shows. The heroes describe why they have to go through a hallway without guns out loud to each other seconds before they do. In the final climax they speak, out loud, to themselves and the whole world that if they work together they can defeat their foe. What a concept,  but perhaps it doesn’t need to be enunciated to be understood.  It turns out all you need to beat the Black Superman is two people working together. 

 If you’re a fan of The Rock’s Instagram there are jokes just for you including his large cheat meals and working out hard with a chain!

I could go on. And I’m sure I will elsewhere at length. But for now, here are some lines I’d like to throw at this movie:

While the movie might claim that its heroes have heart, it does not.

Hobbs and Shaw operates like it’s villain’s high tech upgrades, calculating each movement and object for maximum profit. Cold, calculated, profit.

And, as always, #JusticeforHan

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