iZombie: Even Cowgirls Get the Black & Blues Recap

Synopsis: Liv’s on country-singer cowgirl brains this week. Between bouts of singing the blues and spilling her heart to Major, she and Peyton become besties again and the FBI comes to town to investigate the rich zombies Major assassinated.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Welcome back to iZombie, where apparently the writers finally decided that the murder-of-the-week was so ancillary that the crime was resolved in the span of 30 seconds!

So the episode cold opens on a handful of twerps talking about how far they’ve gotten with the girls in school. After a few seconds of casual misogyny, they find a paper bag with a revolver and a half-empty beer. The twerps start firing the gun at the empty bottle. I’d like to think this scene is Rob Thomas’ commentary on gun control.

Later we discover that there was a convenience store robber in the area. The police end up catching him, but they can’t hold him because his gun is missing.

The twerps’ concerned mother brings the gun into the station and they book the robber.

Why do we care?

Well, turns out that the murder-of-the-week was this sweet girl who worked in a country bar. Laci wrote letters to her convict boyfriend (suspect #1), trying to earn his forgiveness for cheating on him while he was in the clink. She also got into a fight with her manager the night of her murder. Turns out that the manager was a sleeze-bucket who tried to sexually assault Laci in exchange for an advance on her paycheck.

Laci, being the BAMF that she was, poured a carafe of hot coffee on his pants. Once Sleeze-Bucket’s pregnant wife finds out what he did, she lies to the police and tries to convince Babineau that her husband killed Laci. To be fair, incarcerating Sleeze-Bucket  is probably less expensive than retaining a divorce attorney for Preggers.

In the end, it turns out that the convenience store robber ran into Laci and strangled her. Because why the hell not? Writers: “If you don’t care; we don’t care. Whatever.”

So there.

In other news, Peyton and Liv are besties again.

Is it bad I’m secretly hoping that Peyton has become evil!Peyton and she’s conspiring against Liv? Because the showrunners had the perfect opportunity for an establishing shot setting that up after Liv hugs Peyton at her dance class. Alas, Peyton’s motivations seem pure of heart.

Also, the FBI sent a cute female agent in to investigate the missing zombies Major’s been contractually killing. Cute agent shamelessly hits on Babineau and it’s a beautiful thing.

Major is still strung out on Utopium. He hits rock bottom when he scores some product from one of the kids he used to mentor in his at-risk youth outreach program.

Anyway, Major invites Peyton to live with her and Ravi, which puts a strain on Ravi’s burgeoning relationship with Steph. Liv sings a few songs in a bar as Laci and then goes to pour her heart out to Major.

Major rejects her, but then later comes back to her for help. The two start making out. Question: Can a cured zombie become a zombie again? If not, then all of Liv’s obstacles to being with Major are like that Phillip Phillips song: “Gone, Gone, Gone.”