Synopsis of 2×05: There’s something about Skye’s dad and Simmons getting her cover blown, but those are literally not as important as BOBBI FUTZIN’ MORSE.

Rating: ★★★★★

I’ll admit, this episode was a solid four star episode. It had lots of suspense and build up going for it. Why did I mark it up an extra star though?


Let’s be real, if you read my regular recaps, you know I’m gay for a lot of the women on this show, but not as gay as I am for Bobbi Morse right about now. I can even overlook the fact she’s not Clint’s ex-wife in this universe. Tall and amazing Bobbi…

Okay, right. The episode. The episode that includes Fitz saying he thinks Mack is attractive, but not because he’s into guys are anything. I’ll take it.

As a carry over from the previous episode, Raina has been clearly spooked by Daniel Whitehall, who’s demanding that she return the Obelisk in 48 hours or suffer the consequences. Since Whitehall seems to have a reputation that precedes him, Raina goes running to Mr. Mayor to get it back. However, he shows just how unhinged he is and nearly chokes Raina out before refusing to do so. All Mr. Mayor wants from her is Skye and Raina has failed to deliver on that, so she could die for all he cares. He also does this whole thing of “That’s not her real name” which brings back my fear that they’re going to reveal she’s Carol Danvers of Earth-199999 and that’ll end with me throwing my computer out my window. However, since they’re introducing Skye, May, and Fitzsimmons to the 616 soon, I really doubt Marvel would want to do that. (By the way, S.H.I.E.L.D. #2 will feature Simmons investigating Kamala Khan. GET HYPE.)

Meanwhile, Simmons is getting in too deep at HYDRA. When HYDRA attempts to weaponize the Obelisk, killing an Anti-HYRDA Navy team in the process, Simmons finds out that there is intent to kill millions, if not billions, of people with it. She immediately contacts S.H.I.E.L.D. However, the technology she’s using is found and there’s an immediate investigation by the HYDRA head of security (Adrianne Palicki). Simmons gets out of suspicion by the skin of her teeth, but her lab partner is immediately implicated and dragged off when her tech is found in his desk.

Skye is still investigating the painting from the previous episode, but Coulson’s refusal to work with her keeps bringing her work to a stop. At the frankly terrible advice of Hunter, who tells her to keep pushing the issue, Skye goes to see Ward (aka her psycho ex-crush living in the basement) to ask about it. He keeps trying to do his manipulation thing over her father, but Skye calls him out on it and gets him on point. Ward tells her that Garrett began drawing the symbols on everything after he was injected with the GH-325. Skye puts two and two together and confronts Coulson about it. He tells her that he started carving them after he saw Garrett carve them and that they were secretly testing her to see if she had the same reaction. When she didn’t, they moved onto the theory that she’s an alien. Skye reacts like anyone would react upon hearing they’re likely an alien.

Stay strong, Simmons. [ABC]
Stay strong, Simmons. [ABC]
Right as Skye starts chewing Coulson out about not informing her that she’s an alien, Raina calls Coulson to let her know that she has something very important to him. Coulson and the team go to meet Raina at a fancy restaurant where Raina presents her deal: let Raina bring Skye to her father or she’ll send the picture of Simmons sending the info to S.H.I.E.L.D. to all of HYDRA, effectively blowing her cover. Skye tries to intervene, but May orders her to stand down. Coulson refuses to bend, telling Raina that he has a plan. The message sends, and the team decides to track Raina  so she can bring them to Whitehall. Hunter is also annoying as usual, but we’ll skip over that white noise.

However, when the team goes to plan the investigation about Skye’s dad, they realize Skye has gone there.  Skye searches for her father, but it turns out that he’s already long gone minus a picture of him holding Skye as a baby. Coulson finds her and remarks that she’s had one hell of a day. They hug it out while Skye’s dad watches on a iPad from the alley. Mr. Mayor is all emotional about this, but he becomes more unhinged as he watches the team find the bodies of the men he killed. Because he’s a monster.

At HYDRA, Simmons has her cover blown and she goes on the run from Bakshi and his team. She manages to get pretty far, but then she gets cornered by the head of security. Then, in the most exciting twist, the head of security pulls out her eskrima and kicks some royal ass. She pulls a “come with me if you want to live” on Simmons and reveals that her name is Bobbi Morse and that she was assigned to go undercover by Coulson to keep an eye on her. The blown cover was a bit of a hindrance, but it’s okay because Coulson has a plan. Bobbi (not Agent Morse) goes full badass and gets Simmons out under fire and jumps from the roof onto the Quinjet piloted by Trip. Oh, and she managed to steal the hard drive off of Simmons’ computer. Do you see that complete look of admiration and attraction on Simmons’ face? THAT’S MINE RIGHT NOW.

The two get Simmons back to the home base, where she has an awkward reunion with Fitz. This is what happens when you meet up with someone you tried to move on from and have only been seeing them as a figment of your imagination.

Awkward. [ABC]
Awkward. [ABC]
Bobbi gets reacquainted with the team as she settles in to be the new team member when Hunter comes in and starts freaking out about her being there. Remember his ex-wife he would not shut up about in the previous episode? YEAH IT’S BOBBI. I don’t know if this is better or worse than her 616 canon ex-husband being a loser in purple who drinks coffee straight from the carafe, but at least Clint has a set of skills besides being British.

Anyway, the whole reason Hunter is here apparently is not because Hartley vouched for him, but because Bobbi did. Hunter goes on about how he prefers her blonde, but no one cares. NO ONE CARES.

Skye meets with Coulson to say that she doesn’t care about her dad anymore and that if they’re going to solve the mystery of the carvings, he needs to be completely open and honest with her. Coulson agrees and shows her the latest set of carvings. He has no idea what they mean, but Skye has a theory: it’s a map.

During the stinger, Mr. Mayor goes into Whitehall’s office, killing his bodyguards. He presents the Obelisk to Whitehall, saying that it’s called “The Diviner.” He agrees to show Whitehall how to survive it since they have a common goal of killing Phil Coulson. OH SHI-

Mr. Mayor might need his reggae band again. [ABC]
Mr. Mayor might need his reggae band again. [ABC]
I can’t even with this episode. It was dark, emotional, suspenseful and best of all, IT INTRODUCED BOBBI MORSE. WHO WILL BE IN THE NEXT EPISODE. I AM ALL HEART EYE EMOJIS RIGHT NOW.

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