Utopia: Tuesday (1×6)


Rating: ★★★☆☆

Bri and Chris are on a “trial separation.” They are quite literally just moving across the room from each other and separating their stuff.

Hex and Taylor are back on after a huge fight. Taylor reveals that he was once a male escort. Um, well thanks for that info.

We are now on Bella’s three day rule of Utopia and she has instituted an all female rule. The women will be the ones deciding what is happening. She presents this idea to the group, asking for what the guys think. Aaron thinks women are proven to be more hormonal, but he hopes they won’t play into the steryotypes; Josh is for it; Taylor admits that they are all smarter than him, and it’s ridiculous to see men and women as different in this day and age; Rob thinks men and women are very different, women are more emotional and might not make harder decisions. He tops it off by calling it the “tampon party. Classy dude. Classy.

New business idea! The Utopia Experience! And it’s family friendly! Take your kids to Utopia, meet the utopians and buy some stuff that they make. Basically, it’s like a county fair, with crafts, food, and drinks for sale. Plus you get the added benefit of going to specialized “classes” such as “Hillbilly Wine Making,” “Archery,” “Yoga,” and “Bootcamp.”

Bella’s water filter arrives. After much debate, arguing, etc, she was able to order it a week ago and it is now here. Mike and Aaron decide to return it. Mike, Hex, and Aaron vow to not talk about it. Well, not exactly. Mike is going to instigate Bella with a dramatic retelling of the returning of the water filter. If you liked Mike before, you’d hate him now. Aaron tries to say that no one agreed, and gets the group going on it too. Bella makes an overly passionate speech about how she has been waiting for this filter for weeks. And yes, it really is for medical reasons that they need it. She tosses in how she’s been slaving in the garden, how Aaron refuses to work with her on buying pads, and how just straight up disrespectful returning it was. Bella lets everyone know that she is at her breaking point. She’s ready to go home. Now, Amanda stands up for her. Amanda, the true champion of the underdogs. It’s true, Bella has been bullied and the scapegoat for everything since day one, but she is a good person. Weird, but good. Rob and Josh suddenly find hearts and also stand up for Bella, and say that everyone should start saying nice things to Bella. After Josh and Aaron talk for a bit, Aaron actually apologizes to Bella. Yeah. Okay, hug it out. Say you’re going to be more reasonable Aaron, no one truly believes you.

Nikki convinces Red to try yoga, and believe it or not, he’s really good at it. Like, he’s doing moves I can’t even do in my dreams.

The very first ladies’ meeting starts off and they have some really great ideas. They first want to break chores up into Major and Minor. Everyone signs up for one major, and one minor. Dedeker presents this idea to the men at dinner, but not before Bella asks the ladies to say something nice about the men first. Each lady goes around and says something nice to either a single guy, or to them as a whole. Dedeker presents the idea to the men, and explains how the new chore system will work. Everyone signs up, except for Red. Red, man. It’s just three days.

Chores begin the next day, and with the decree of them needing to be done before eight am, everyone is up and working. Well, everyone but Bri. Red and Rob discuss how she needs to leave considering she doesn’t even do her job of working with the animals. Bella says that the ladies need to talk to her, Red says that he is going to be the one to talk to her. Bella tells him that no, the ladies are in charge and Red goes off saying that Bella isn’t in charge of anything at all. Oh Red, just calm it down. No one is pushing you, you’re just going off because it’s Bella’s rule. Surprisingly, Bella is really calm and rational.

They have an intervention with Bri and her sleeping in. She says she wasn’t trying to shirk her responsibilities, and that starting tomorrow she’ll get up and show everyone the “right” way to do barn duties. Anyone think this will actually happen? Yeah. Me either.

Red’s wife and son comes to visit! It is as adorable as it can get. Red introduces them to the Utopians, giving everyone a nickname. Hex asks for the story of how they met, and we find out that they were married at sixteen. This couple is still going hot after all these years. While Taylor takes Red’s son fishing, Red and his wife get down to business under the deck. Afterwards, they stroll around the grounds. Red presents her with a flower and it is really heartbreaking as she breaks down knowing that their time together is drawing to a close. Have I mentioned that they are adorable?

Hex and Dedeker rebuild bridges with Red, and present the chores in a new light to him. It’s not that the chores are just by the women to make everyone miserable, it’s to give more structure and so people don’t do the same thing twice. Red calms down and agrees that it’s a good idea. So long as no woman is shoving ideas down his throat it’s fine.

The Utopians spend $400 on a used laptop. Yes, they have a twitter.

Rob addresses the group before the grand opening of the Utopian Experience. It’s oddly emotional, uplifting, and empowering. He reminds everyone that winter is coming, and that they need to pull together if they plan on making it through the super harsh California winter. Who knew Rob had it in him?

It’s opening day. Everyone is nervous, as they open the gates. A ton of people show up to pay to enter the gates of Utopia. The guests are separated into groups and given tours of the grounds. The Utopians sell their goods, hold classes, and actually pull it off! Every person who went seemed to have a great time, and to really enjoy themselves there. The Utopians make $1483 off of this past weekend. Holy. Cow. They are back up to just over $3000. Aaron sneaks out to answer the door, and grab a box. The group surprises Bella with a water filter. A little bit of respect is restored for the group, and hope is rekindled.

Bella has her final meeting with the ladies and calls the women rule a success. Which, considering the past rules, really was a success. They got everyone structured, had a great business venture, and were able to bring everyone closer.

A fifteenth Utopian will come into the fold next episode. How will Ernesto change he dynamics?


Utopia: Friday (1×7)


Rating: ★★★☆☆

Who is going to replace Preacher Jon? Ernesto that’s who. He’s a former Navy man, who knows his way around HVAC, plumbing,  and construction. Dude is for real on building things. But his welcome is short lived as another group of visitors come in for the Utopian Experience. While everyone is off entertaining the guests, Aaron takes a moment to tell Ernesto that there is “a lot of type-a personalities that are in it for themselves.” Aaron also dishes about everyone’s sex lives and who they are with and who to watch out for.

Tomorrow starts Amanda’s form of government, and that there’s a council of three that will have the final say. There are still group leaders in all the sections: Bella for the garden, Bri for the barn, etc. Red is pretty upset about that as he wants to take over the barn since Bri isn’t pulling her weight. He vents to Nikki about it and while she does her best to calm him down and explain things, he just keeps plugging away for his take over. Later that night, Red vents to a very tired looking Amanda. Josh says that he’s making waves so he can leave, and denounces his intelligence on everything. Rob and Josh agree that it is time for Red to go.

6 am comes, and part of the crew is up. While everyone else is sleeping, Red walks through the place with his boots on waking up all the princesses who are still sleeping. Mike is next in line for Red’s talk, and he wants to start his own revolution. Mike says he is on board for this, but can we really trust him? He does have it pretty good with the main crew.

Bella and Ernesto have a heart to heart in the garden. Ernesto is seriously a genuine, happy guy. I just really want him to run. Run away now before you see the real Utopia and become jaded and hate all of humanity for all time. Run, Ernesto. Run.

We are now a week away from the replacement process. Once a month, the group is allowed to put two people up for replacement, and have then voted out so that a new person can come in. This is supposed to keep Utopia fresh and interesting. However, those who are a passport holder for Utopia also get to vote for people to be replaced. This combo will give us who is leaving.

Red is out recruiting for his revolution while Amanda, Dedeker and Rob talk about what to do with Red. Rob is all for getting rid of him because he causes too much trouble and is hard to deal with. The ladies are in agreement, and it looks like Red is on his way out.

A local beekeeper stops by Utopia. Jake the beekeeper is a hottie, and proposes that if they allow him to have some hives in Utopia he’ll give them half of his honey and half his wax. The group agrees to this and then sets about embarrassing Nikki because she thinks Jake the beekeeper is super cute. Will this be a new romance?

Hex and Kristen are organizing an online auction for the men. Hex holds nothing back as she says that they gather stats on the guys to make them seem more attractive and to gain more money. While the guys don’t have much to offer, Taylor really does have the best pickup line. “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.” Hex scoffs, but I find it hilarious. He’s a clever dude.

Amanda decides to clarify with the group that Red is no longer a part of the group. Basically, he buys his own food, and handles his own money. If he falls on hard times, he’s not allowed back into the group. He’ll pitch in with the chores and everything, still a team player, but basically the same as Utopia State of Freedom.

Taylor starts crap with Bella after she asks for help with the hose. He lets her know that it isn’t hard to pull a hose and his mom, who is much older than Bella, could pull it on her own. To her credit, Bella has been getting calmer about her confrontations and tells him that if it wasn’t hard, she wouldn’t have asked for help with it. Taylor keeps losing major cool points as he argues with her and tells her to just go away, and that she’s the “rudest person here.” Bella then goes and vents to Kristen. Bella, you should know better than to tell Kristen anything as she is the shadiest person around. Bella bursts out of the barn, Taylor tells her to calm down and she explodes. A brief explosion that prompts Taylor and Bri to declare their votes for her.

Time to decide if new people will take on leadership roles in the barn, garden or construction. Red remains silent about wanting to take over the barn and Bri gets to keep her post. Josh remains the head of construction. Hex wants to take over the garden, and that prompts Bella to leave. So Hex is now the garden leader and Bella is without a role in Utopia. What will Bella do now that she has no purpose? Well, she will tell Ernesto about sacrificial plants and why they are there.

Amanda and Nikki talk about who they want to vote out. Amanda is straight up voting for Red. Nikki is going between Aaron and Bella. Her reasoning is that she can trust Red, and he adds to the group. Plus she can’t trust Aaron. FINALLY. Someone else doesn’t trust Aaron!


Leave a Reply