Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Bet (1×13)

Summary: The bet comes to an end with Santiago having to go on the worst date ever with Peralta. Boyle celebrates earning the Medal of Valor and drops truth bombs on everyone thanks to his pain meds. Jeffords’ wife finds out he’s back in the field.

Rating: ★★★★★


Well, the bet between Peralta and Santiago introduced in the first episode comes to an end in this episode, with the competition extremely close in the final hours. However, with a bust of ten johns (three of them actually named John), Peralta seals the deal on the bet and asks Santiago out on the WORST DATE EVER.

No man is ever allowed to wear this on a date with me unless otherwise specified. []
No man is ever allowed to wear this on a date with me unless otherwise specified. []
I kind of wish we got to see the entire date Jake had planned, because it sounded truly horrific. Sears portrait, cheap seafood, and a children’s choir serenading Santiago in Times Square. I could seriously have an entire episode of Jake making stupid faces in a Sears portrait studio ala Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky and I’d be stupidly happy. Alas, they get called in on a drug stakeout while on the date, so all we get is the terrible cotton/plastic blend dress on Amy and Jake wearing a bow tie and short as the horrible attempt at the dance scene in Titanic. The “Just Lost A Bet” sign on Jake’s car though was a nice touch. Gives me some ideas for the next time a friend loses a bet with me.

While the bet is ending, Boyle earns the Medal of Valor for taking a bullet in the line of duty. Of course, he earns it at the same time as Sgt. Peanut Butter, a horse that outranks him. After falling off the stage, Boyle doubles his pain meds and starts dropping truth bombs on everyone. Like that Gina’s hair is flat and that he worries that Holt doesn’t find him interesting. Also, it leads to my favorite joke of the episode in which a character says “BLOOP” any time they pretend they’re getting a text. Making sure that he doesn’t get punched, Holt assigns Gina to keep an eye on Boyle.

At the bar during the celebration, the truth bombs just get bigger. Boyle tells Peralta that the reason he’s doing all of this is that he likes Santiago and would probably realize it if he just had a normal conversation with her instead of just teasing her. Peralta denies it of course, but c’mon, even Leslie Knope denied her attraction to Ben Wyatt. Shit’s inevitable.

Diaz is, of course, trying to avoid Boyle because of the whole “taking a bullet for me and now he’s dropping truth bombs on everyone” thing. Gina agrees to run point for Diaz along with keeping an eye on Boyle.

Really though, the medal is impressive. []
Really though, the medal is impressive. []
Later at the bar, we finally get to meet Jeffords’ wife Sharon. Holt tells her that Jeffords should have been on stage with Boyle for saving his life, but she doesn’t understand what Holt means. Jeffords tries to lie and say that he means it metaphorically, but Holt tells her about what happened on Christmas. Well, it turns out that Sharon didn’t know about that because Terry hasn’t told her a thing about going back into the field. This makes her understandably mad because hey, Terrance lied to her. Straight up.

Of course, Jeffords and Holt keep trying to make it right with Sharon, but it ends up with Holt saying the wrong thing that gets Jeffords in further trouble with his wife. I don’t know why Holt struggling to say the right thing amuses me so much, but it does and I love it so hard. Because he’s so stoic and never hilariously awkward until right now.

However, the awkward train has to stop sometime and Boyle comes in to drop his truth bomb that they all love Jeffords and just want the best for him. However, he needs to stop lying to his wife! Thanks to Boyle, the two reconcile and come to an agreement for Jeffords to stop lying to her because she’s always going to worry about him and support him too. Awww.

Boyle finally crosses paths with Diaz in the coat closet to talk to her. She braces herself to reject him, but that’s when he tells her the truth about that night: he didn’t know it was her. He only saw her NYPD vest and the gun aimed at her and did what any cop would do in that moment. He promises her that when they do go on a date, it will be because of what only Boyle would do. Of course, since Charles Boyle can only be so smooth, he asks Diaz to grab his coat for him before he leaves.

The truth is a harsh mistress. []
The truth is a harsh mistress. []
As Peralta and Santiago sit on the roof for their stakeout, they exchange stories about their own worst dates (Santiago’s being the one with her aunt’s dentist who checked her teeth at the table) and how Peralta got the car that he put up for the bet (bought it the day he caught his first big perp). As they bond over trying to catch peanuts in their mouth, Peralta gets a call from Holt, saying that someone from the night shift can come relieve them. Peralta considers it, but tells Holt that they’re already there and can finish it out. He then lies to Santiago about the call and they continue. Eventually, the perps show up and the two catch them while pretending to be a disgruntled couple asking for directions.

The next day, Holt tells Santiago that he’s glad that her and Peralta still work well together despite the bed. He also thanks her for not taking the relief, which she just awkwardly nods at. I half-expected more awkward Holt here, but Santiago doesn’t admit that she didn’t know and goes back to her desk. She apologizes to Peralta about all the money he lost, but he admits that it was still a good date because they caught the bad guys. Uh huh. Sure Jake. Not just because you’re secretly in love with Amy Santiago or anything. Sure.

Of course, Peralta forgot to cancel the male stripper he ordered to be the cherry on top of the previously assumed terrible night and decides to deal with the awkward of standing in front of a male stripper for Santiago’s sake. This leads to Hitchcock taking his own shirt off since he’s sure that’s a thing now.

You're a good friend, Jake. []
You’re a good friend, Jake. []
I really, really loved this episode. It was great to see the characters being slightly out of their element, with Boyle being extra honest, Holt being awkward, and Diaz trying to avoid a situation. It makes for interesting character moments that we might not otherwise get to see. Plus, as ridiculous as the date plot line between Santiago and Peralta started, it ended in a way that reminded me a lot of season three of Parks and Recreation. I really hope Fox renews this show because it does have the potential to be that caliber yet.

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