Archer Vice: Smugglers’ Blues/The Rules of Extraction/On The Carpet (5×07-09)

Summary: After six episodes of competing for worst drug cartel ever, the ISIS team finally manages to screw everything to hell.


Well, it’s official. The former ISIS team are the worst goddamn cocaine dealers on the planet. And probably some of the worst people too, which is why I keep watching this show.

Seriously though, in a matter of a three episode arc, they managed to lose, gain, lose again, eat and blow up the rest of their cocaine stock. Leaving them penniless, withdrawn, and just generally up the creek. No wonder they’re going back to spy stuff next season.

They don't go out very dignified. [facebook.com]
They don’t go out very dignified. [facebook.com]
But how does the team turning from failed cocaine dealers to potential arms dealers work out in terms of a story?

Well, pretty good start, okay middle, and a high end.

I really do wonder if this story had to stretch out over three episodes because not a whole lot happened in ‘The Rules of Extraction.’ Well, besides Ray being a badass and some of the most gruesome scenes Floyd County has animated. It didn’t feel like ‘Heart of Archness’ though where it hit so well as a three part story. I feel like it could have easily been done as an ultra strong two parter between ‘Smugglers’ Blues’ and ‘On The Carpet.’

Again, though, ‘The Rules of Extraction’ gave us the most badass moment with Ray Gillette ever. Much like Archer, I wasn’t mad for him pulling the bluff of him being paralyzed again. I was impressed.

Out of the three though, I will say that ‘On The Carpet’ was the funniest of them. Not that Archer getting thrown out of the window of a Colombian bar or having really exhausting sex with an attractive drug dealer/undercover agent played by Blake Perlman (y’know, the woman who sang the credits song for Pacific Rim/Ron Perlman’s daughter) isn’t funny as hell, but I’m a big fan of framing devices. Especially ones where you slowly figured out what went wrong. Jessica Walter really delivers it here as an extremely pissed off Malory, wondering where all the goddamn cocaine went, being ready to emasculate Krieger, and smacking Cherlene with a whiskey bottle for having a relationship with Ron in her newly open marriage with him.

I hope I never get hit with a bean bag round ever. [facebook.com]
I hope I never get hit with a bean bag round ever. [facebook.com]
Gee, I don’t think this show is the best example of dealing with non-monogamy, but again, I don’t watch for good examples of human behavior.

Speaking of Cherlene, where the hell is her plot line going? It feels like there’s been a lot of ambling towards… something? Maybe? But nothing tangible so far. Why release such a good album so early in this season if they haven’t DONE anything with it yet besides just a few jokes about Krieger’s absentmindedness and Cherlene being weird? I NEED RESULTS, DAMMIT.

‘Smugglers’ Blues,’ ‘The Rules of Extraction’ and ‘On The Carpet’ were a weird set of episodes. They weren’t that strong, but they have set the course for how the last few episodes of this season are going to play out. They also had some of the funniest moments of the season so far hidden in them. Because of that, I’m not really sure how they’re going to rank for me in terms of the whole season as it ends, but I guess we’ll see when we get there.

Also, Christian Slater was barely there. I can’t decide if that’s awesome or terrible.


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