Sharks took my grandpa. So I really hate sharks.
Sharknado may have had dismal TV viewer statistics, but by the explosive reaction on Twitter, you’d never know it. Somehow, this absurdly named B-movie was the best thing to post about on Thursday night. Now, the dust has settled, the air has cleared, and the shark storm ceased. Let’s see what this was all about.
I’m not usually one to watch TV movies, for the very reason that they’re cheap and tacky. But Sharknado. What a title. And then watching the surprising blowup on Twitter? My interest was piqued. Honestly, I couldn’t help myself with this one.
I was cracking up when I first saw the trailer, but not for a second of those two minutes did I believe it was actually a full-length movie. Boy was I excited when I realized I’d be getting another hour and a half of airborne sharks.
Now, what exactly was Sharknado?
Well, it takes no time to jump into the action. Five minutes in and sailors are batting away at pouncing sharks with ores and wood planks. To no avail, of course. Their boat is swallowed up in seconds.
It takes place on the Southern California coast. We’ve got surfer dudes, bikini babes, a bamboo hut bar, the works. You know, SolCal bro. Little do they know a Sharkicane is headed their way.
The tornadoes hit fast, swirling chaos around all of LA. Basically, we’ve got a lot of scrambling civilians and abandoned sharks flapping around on rooftops. Some sharks are lucky enough to land in rivers, and just a few in retirement home pools.
To really get an idea of what this movie is, let’s just review the climax for a moment. Spoiler-alert. Chainsaw in hand, Ian Ziering’s character jumps into the mouth of a shark flying his way, gets swallowed whole, and moments later cuts open the shark from the inside, hollering victoriously as he wiggles his way out. Not only that, but he pulls out the heroine who had, coincidentally, been eaten by the same shark when she dropped out of a helicopter.
I can’t say how I feel about having watched Sharknado alone. I wouldn’t suggest it. Watching this movie is most enjoyable as a social event, as the Twitter frenzy proved. All of those lonely people in front of their TVs…what better to do than share the Sharknado experience?
Seriously speaking, Sharknado may be the single most genius movie of the year. Being a person who holds a great contempt for stereotypical action movies and shows, I was impressed that Sharknado covered just about all the stereotypes I complain about after leaving the theater of an action movie: surfers, bikini models in the bar, an Australian…uh…sidekick, and a helpless community of simple-minded idiots. Is it bad to say that Hawaii 5.0 kept coming to mind?
Here I thought I was one of few that understood painfully overused movie plot-lines and character development. Thanks, Sharknado, for letting me know I’m not alone. I’ve never felt so close to a TV movie.