Blood Drive: The F***ing Dead Recap

Synopsis of 1×05: Mysterious twins attempt to exact some revenge on Julian Slink, while Grace and Arthur just want answers out of him. The enemy of my enemy isn’t necessarily a friend this time…

Rating:
This episode went back to being everything that’s great about Blood Drive. Starting out with a wholesome, 1960s black and white sitcom vibe, Julian Slink is having an ‘aw shucks’ conversation with his wife about finding condoms in his son’s room. Suddenly, it looks like zombies break down the door and eat them as Slink winks directly at the camera.

After finding Slink’s picture in Kane Hill, Grace went from zero to no chill and was already torturing him for information about her sister. He doesn’t have anything to offer up, so Arthur is forced to entertain the crowd while Grace keeps trying. He’s terrible at it, but it does get him another ridiculous costume change.

Meanwhile, the Blood Drive party gets some visitors in the form of creepy twins on a mission. They finish each other’s sentences, have some uncomfortable unresolved sexual tension, and go on to make out with as many people in the crowd as possible – passing on the Dionysus Strain, a virus, to everyone. Stage one of the virus is in full swing: euphoric abandon.

Christopher’s new eye is revealed to him at Heart Enterprises, where he learns he’s now free to go. As soon as he pays off the $20 million they spent on his new and improved eye. Aki sets him up with a job in the mail room that should only take him about 900 years to work off his debt.

Slink has gotten one of his hand’s free, unbeknownst to Grace, and is ready to go back out and do his job. He reveals to her that Heart has plans for both her and her sister. But before they can continue the conversation, he realizes something is wrong outside. Slink does his best to convince her to team up with him in order to put a stop to the “smurf orgy.”

While passing out the mail, Christopher overhears someone from Heart Enterprises celebrating the fact that Blood Drive got picked up. His new eye picks up a clip of Arthur believing in him, which gives him renewed hope.

Once Arthur realizes most of the crowd has dispersed, he is accidentally infected by the virus and stage two is introduced: Bluege. Slink explains the Grace that the twins are the only survivors of an experiment Heart did on the town. In exchange for information about her sister, Grace agrees to head to the Atlas Bottling plant for the antidote formula.

The wonder twins, Jack and Diane, mistake Arthur for Slink before Grace swoops in to correct them. To force him to focus, the running joke becomes how many times Arthur has to get hit in the balls. It’s funnier than you would expect. He and Grace set out for the antidote after pointing the twins in the direction of Slink.

They go to confront Slink, who happens to be immune to the virus already. That’s fine though, because they just planned to kill him. Meanwhile, outside, stage three – fuck each other to death – is starting to peak. To lure them to the antidote that Arthur is investigating, Grace flashes everyone and leads them back towards the bottling factory.

Realizing his mission would be easier if he had a security job, Christopher asks Aki to bend the rules for him. She certainly seems willing, but the price is yet unknown.

When Grace reunites with Arthur, he tells her that the twins have to bang and produce an antidote that way. He’s left to guard the door and fight off his own infection while she goes to talk the twins into giving into their urges. Surprisingly, it works and Slink shoves them into the grinder they were trying to feed him to. It collects their blood, which Grace then sprays on the frenzied crowd, curing everyone.

The next morning, Slink gives Grace more information on her sister’s whereabouts, but warns her that the Blood Drive is still on and the rules are the same. If she’s the last one to cross the finish line…