Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Tactical Village (1×19)
Summary: The 99 participates in the annual tactical village where Santiago runs into a guy she used to date, which makes Peralta jealous. Diaz gets mad at Boyle for not inviting her to his wedding. Captain Holt gets addicted to a game called Kwazy Cupcakes.
Okay, here we go, back on track to awesome town as we head towards the end of the season.
It’s Tactical Village day at the 99, which means it’s the awesome time of the year when the squad gets to try out new weapons and participate in tactical training exercises. Of course, the 99 being the 99 doesn’t exactly have the most perfect run every year, but they have fun along the way. Peralta is even determined to finally win Coolest Kill for once.
On their way to the village, Boyle inquires with Peralta about how he feels about Santiago, but he denies it up and down as usual. This leads Boyle to making a terrible Star Wars metaphor about how Luke said the same thing about only seeing Leia as a sister. DUDE. BOYLE. NO.
At the Village though, Peralta’s denial is put to the test when he meets Teddy, a guy Santiago used to date that’s now working closer to them instead of Queens. Every time Teddy and Santiago interact, Jake is there to try and impress Santiago. It fails, of course. Also, how the hell does anyone know that a man can run half a mile with no penis? Who tries that?
Peralta is preparing for Coolest Kill in the tactical run when Teddy’s squad comes out and tells them that they have the new record for fastest run. This suddenly turns Peralta into SERIOUS DETECTIVE and he rallies the squad into attempting to beat the record. Which was… kind of awesome to see. Not just because of character reasons, but because it’s rare to see Andy Samberg be serious. Of course, Serious!Peralta still has a tragic action hero backstory, but at least without an awful British accent this time.
Thanks to Serious!Peralta and one really stupid gun move suggested by Scully, the 99 ends up taking the tactical course record! Woohoo! Peralta’s new found seriousness doesn’t seem to work on Santiago though because she turns downs drinks with the 99 to go have dinner with Teddy after. Oof. Poor Jake.
At the same time in the village, Diaz finds out that Boyle didn’t invite her to his wedding. She figures it’s because Vivian would think it was weird, but she still gets mad at Boyle for not talking to her about it since they’re supposed to be friends. Jeffords suggests talking to him about it, but Diaz decides to just swallow it down, only bring it up on her deathbed and just be really mean to Boyle in the meantime. This includes shooting him with a net gun, a sound cannon, and paint balls. Jeffords, being the total dad that he is, decides that enough is enough and sticks the two of them together for perimeter on the tactical run in hopes that they’ll talk to each other.
Which totally does work because after realizing that she could die at any moment in an actual tactical situation, Diaz tells Boyle that she’s mad at him for not inviting her to the wedding or at least talking to her as to why she wasn’t being invited. Boyle apologizes and tells her it is because Vivian thought it would be awkward. The two agree to be more honest and end the conversation by shooting a “perp” with paintballs. On the way back into town, Boyle tells Diaz he talked it over with Vivian and that she’s okay with having Diaz there if he is. He gives her an invitation and Diaz gladly accepts. Awww yay. I’m glad they’re becoming friends!
At the precinct, Holt asks Gina to get some files for him that the DA is asking for. However, she’s engrossed in her phone playing a super addicting game called Kwazy Cupcakes. Which is basically their version of Candy Crush. Holt tells her to get it together and stop playing it.
Easier said than done, as Holt is about to find out.
Yep, because in the short amount of time Holt left Gina to do her work, he got addicted to Kwazy Cupcakes. He, of course, denies it and says he can quit whenever he wants, but he ends up skipping work and arranging line ups like cupcakes in the game and he cannot understand why he can’t stop playing.
I’m not sure what was the best part of this storyline: Holt losing self-control or Andre Braugher saying “Kwazy Cupcakes” a million times.
How does he end up finally kicking the addiction though? By finding out Hitchcock is just as far as he is in the game. Perhaps that’s what I need to kick my Disco Bees addiction.
Gina being Gina though, she ends up telling the entire squad of his shame at the bar later that night. He forgives her and the two end up commiserating on how addicting the game is.
At the bar, Diaz goes over to Vivian and thanks her for the invitation. She promises it won’t be weird, and Vivian tells her that she’s happy Diaz can make it since Boyle told her she would be out of town. She asks why it would be weird, and Diaz quickly covers it by saying that she herself is weird. Uh oh. I really hope this is just a “It would be weird for Boyle and he didn’t tell Vivian that he used to be in love with Diaz” thing and not “He’s still in love with Diaz” thing. Because I REALLY want these two to be friends and not do this whole unrequited love bullshit. Do me a solid, Mike and Dan. Don’t do that.
While that’s happening, Peralta asks Boyle what Santiago would see in Teddy. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Boyle tells him that the reason she picked Teddy over him was that Teddy actually had the guts to ask her out. Peralta thinks on this and the next day, he goes up to Santiago to ask her something. However, he chickens out and asks her about her makeup instead. She tells him she’s going on a date with Teddy and Peralta covers by saying he’s got a lot of work to catch up on. Oooh boy, you’re in deep.
This episode was a whole lot of fun. It’s nice to see the group get out of the precinct and be out of their element, whether it be getting serious to impress someone or playing an addicting phone game. I just hope the hanging plot threads are leading somewhere good in these final few episodes of season one because I don’t want to leave this on a rage.