I’m not kidding.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I know that it can’t happen, and I actually love Ben Affleck being casted (as opposed to anyone else on the list of possible people), but I started marathoning Grey’s Anatomy after running out of things to obsess over on Netflix, and I am realizing that McSteamy is perfect to play the dark knight.
Now there’s no tiptoeing around the fact that I am basing my opinion purely on appearance. After all, that’s really the only thing you can actually base it on without a monologue or something similar. Let’s just compare the chiseled features of Eric Dane to the equally chiseled features of Bruce Wayne.
I mean, first of all, chiseled jaws are important in superheroes. I could be overstating the importance, but appearance-wise, a square jaw on a symmetrical face basically blares classical manliness. Obviously there are other signs of manliness that don’t involve a square jaw, but this one is pretty prominent in the representation of comic book superheroes.
And before you mock me for using Aquaman, I’m not joking, look at all of those square jaws. And obviously there’s the physique and the stern eyes that look soft all at once. Am I getting carried away? Maybe. And maybe Eric Dane doesn’t have the exact serious face of Batman, but he has the face for Bruce Wayne. Anyone can look serious and angry and have a vengeful tone with a splash of 50-year smoker, but to combine that with the charismatic playboy? A little harder.
I feel like I’m going on and on about a jaw, but the bone structure of a face is important in the physical representation of a character. It changes everything. It’s how we tell characters apart and how we visualize them. Batman isn’t Batman without broad cheekbones, a square jaw, and a grimace. The Joker isn’t the Joker without high cheeks, a sharp jaw, and a grin from ear to ear.
Now, the real reason I want Eric Dane to be Batman (or at least a less superficial reason) is why I wanted someone relatively unknown to be casted as the Doctor. I love Peter Capaldi and I love Ben Affleck. I have no problem with either actors, in fact I think they are both top caliber actors. But I wanted someone new. A fresh face.
And yes, you could argue that a man who has played the same character for over 100 episodes on a show that gets over a million views an episode is not someone new, but he’s been in less than 10 movies on the big screen, and he’s a good actor, and I think it’s about time. In many ways, he’s a lot like Henry Cavill. He’s a man who’s made his career in television, and is branching into movies. They’ve got a similar look, but then again Bruce and Clark have always looked very similar to each other (see above two pictures).
I feel very strongly about this, given that my life has basically been Grey’s Anatomy for the past 48 hours, but I don’t think the feeling will go away. My problem with many of the choices that were being suggested for Batman was that I couldn’t see them outside of their best known roles. I was happy with Affleck because I could see him as Batman. Just like I was happy with Bale as Batman because I could see him as Batman. That is how I feel about Eric Dane.
And if that’s superficial, well, then me and an owl in daylight have something in common, we just don’t give a hoot.